"The power of the pen is unknown until you pick it up."

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Toilet Bowl Of Life

12/4/14

My husband (Captain Awesome or Awesome) and I got to read the CT report. A large mass according to radiologists is: 11.5 X 10.2 X 7.9. For people like me who relate to inches that’s: 4 ½ inches X 4 inches X 3 inches. According to Captain Awesome its “The size of a small puppy.” He offered to name it George.

I was really lucky and got in to see a general surgeon the day after my life got sucked into the proverbial toilet.

 Ah, but being in life’s crapper didn’t end there. Oh no, gotta plunge some more. Since George took over the living space space currently owned and operated by the ovary and uterus the surgery wouldn't be a simple procedure. (Yes, the rotten squatter does have that cancerous characteristic.) The doctor said if it were cancerous, it was beyond his skills—he’d just have to stitch me up and send me somewhere else. He referred me to an obgyn oncologist.

I spent the rest of the day bawling my face off.

If you are ever an emotional, icky, gooey mess, I recommend using Puffs Plus.

I cried so much I think I washed some brain cells out. Seriously, I couldn’t think straight enough to use the phone. I had to stare at it for a few seconds and think, “What was I doing? Oh, yeah, I needed to call so-n-so.” And then I’d stare at it for another second. “And I’ll find the number … where? Oh, yeah, the address book.” So I click the address book and start the whole process over again. “What am I supposed to be doing? Oh, I’ve got a clue. The address book is open, I’m supposed to call someone…”

After getting some sleep, I’m happy to report those brain cells are not M.I.A. they were merely lost in the fog of sleep deprivation. Apparently, in order to function, I need more than 5 hours of sleep in a 60-hour time frame...

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